1. This tweet about paternity
I don't need a paternity test. Minute the child is born I will put ewa agonyin in his mouth. If he vomits it, ain't no child of mine
— Daddy P (@Punthief) May 19, 2015
2. This tweet about fainting
My most embarrassing moment has to be when I fainted at Ojuelegba and the woman that poured water on me kept asking 'Dee you do aboshan?'
— Opistic baby (@Switope) March 5, 2015
3. This tweet about the tomato
Lol what's the tomato doing there? Does it want to take a corner kick? pic.twitter.com/663fbVt3xM
— OMEIZA (@Jatsabdul) January 7, 2016
4. This tweet about hiding your girlfriend
You cannot hide me oh. My yoruba will come out and thats how I'll just greet your mum from under the bed because I have home training
— Abike (@Jollz) September 23, 2015
5. This tweet about Olajumoke’s husband
If i were Olajumoke, and husband starts feeling insecure, i'll give him the remaining bread to go sell, since he wana be bread winner so bad
— Ugo (@MrOkeke_) February 15, 2016
6. This tweet about MTN
Girl: No you hang up
Guy: No you hang up
Girl: Awwwww, No you hang up.
MTN: pic.twitter.com/sBVpNaClMv
— TheNigerianWeirdo (@NigerianWeirdo) October 14, 2015
7. This tweet about shopping
Nigerian: How much is this black Cartier watch?
Cashier: N850k sir. N: Hmmn. C: Do I bring it? N: Don’t you have it in reddish gold? — Chef-D’oeuvre (@TemiMartin) June 22, 2015
8. This tweet about Nigerian parents
Nigerian parents don't care if someone broke your heart and you're hurting. They will still call you to wash pot.
— Softie (@soniabladetweet) August 23, 2015
9. This tweet about Netflix and chill
When the movie is almost over and your crush who invited you for Netflix and chill hasn't touched your bra strap pic.twitter.com/0VlrVs0x7x
— Flaw. (@goldenwura) February 14, 2016
10. This tweet about sheep and rams
I finally discovered the difference between a Sheep and a Ram: One is a Christian while the other is a Muslim.
— Isabella Igwe (@IsabellahXOX) August 25, 2015
11. This tweet about Shakiti bobo
Shakiti bobo will be playing and one babe will still be bringing yansh. Aunty pls give me space, I need to hang one leg in the air
— Uncle Choco (@TheLekan) September 19, 2015
12. This tweet about breastfeeding
When ur bae's mother is making noise abt breastfeeding him for a Year bt he's bn sucking ur breasts for 3yrs now pic.twitter.com/VJAHk6RBNa
— LIGHT (@HisRoyalDopenez) November 30, 2015
13. This tweet about Law students
Law students watch Suits & think they'll be working on white-collar crimes only 2 represent a Seyi who stole bold 2 at Shoprite in court
— Jide Ogunleye (@Jidee_) February 22, 2016
14. This tweet about names
"My name is Tunde" or "My name is Tunde Adamu Polycap". Not "my names are…"
Unless u're possessed
And even if u r, ur name is Legion.
— Dr. Robert (@Sir_Scribbles) February 7, 2016
15. This tweet about African mothers
African Mum: KANYECHUKWU, JAYEKENE J.COLEBUBECHUKWU. WHO STOOK THE N300 I KEPT IN MY PURSE FOR YOUR SUNDAY OFFERING pic.twitter.com/AAWLGvPDYc
— ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ (@chuuzzy) March 30, 2015
16. This tweet about job interviews
[Job Interview]
"It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"
"36"
"That's not even close"
"But it was quick"
— Yuri (@Snikoggs) January 15, 2016
17. This tweet about CVs
Writing CV for my guy…Baba no get job experience.
So I added 4yrs experience as 'Data analytics and Forecast Expert' cos Nairabet
— OVERGRADUATE1 (@F_Jay_) October 21, 2015
18. This tweet about karaoke
First time I heard the word Karaoke, I thought it meant raise your body up. Growing up in Ibadan was tough man pic.twitter.com/xLMwIJuWgi
— ibro stainless (@BabaOloriokoBB) July 5, 2015
19. This tweet about your mother’s name
It's crazy how some kids can get away with calling their parents by their names
I didn't even know my mum's name till she added me on FB.
— Seuny (@Seunography) November 24, 2015
20. This tweet about Nigerians and questions
Interviewer: Is it true most Nigerians answer questions with questions? Nigerian man: Who told you that?
— Isima Odeh (@IsimaOdeh) January 7, 2015
21. This tweet about Nigerian mothers and answering calls
Nigerian mothers dnt pick call immediately. Atleast u must call like 3× , before they pick it frm inside their bag, wardrobe or pot of soup.
— Dr Atinuke (@Steadi_Lady) September 21, 2015
22. This tweet about pigs
I'll never understand why my fam dont like eating pork "Pigs are dirty animals",
Its not like chickens & goats were using Dudu Osun
— Bro. Michael (@migiokafor) September 19, 2015
23. This tweet about being petty
When your man is annoying you and says he is hungry . pic.twitter.com/VlcnLaDNzI
— Thelmzkitchen (@Thelmzkitchen_) March 1, 2016
24. This tweet about an Igbo song
please and please Yoruba people after 'aka mara mma" is not Kangaroo
— Taylor gang! (@eweredavid) January 5, 2016
25. This tweet about the army of The Lord
Ps: My brother, you need to join the army of the Lord.
Guy: Im already there
Ps: I dont see you on sundays
Guy: Im in the secret service
— Mr. Anonadaga (@OswaldAW) January 20, 2015
26. This tweet about JAMB
When you mistakenly eat after failing jamb
Parents – if only you take your life as serious as food pic.twitter.com/r9DYAG7YyM
— Chris [APRIL 22] (@Chris_Obi_Goth) March 1, 2016
27. This tweet about HR
Don't know why HR is frowning that I am bringing fufu to work from the house , if you had paid me for last month I might have ordered KFC.
— young jethro. (@TheGreyHunter) November 5, 2015
Source: zikoko.com
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