1. Anyone who is angry and bitter
Was your best friend a jilted bride or a
groom who was stood up at the altar? Don’t ask friends or family with a
chip on their shoulder how to win at love. If you hang around them long
enough, their attitude could rub off on you. Then no one will want to
date you because you have such a bad attitude. Don’t let someone else’s
bad experiences warp how you see relationships. Psychologist Randi
Gunther said bitterness may temporarily protect you from experiencing
painful feelings, but it will only hold you back from finding a
fulfilling relationship in the long run. Gunther describes bitterness as
emotional poison. “Bitterness hurts, emotionally, spiritually, and
physically. People appear to hold on to it to protect themselves from
more pain. It does shield them from more hurt, but also from love as
well. Cynical relationship seekers, bitter from the heartbreaks of the
past, may not allow for a new and dangerous future. That engulfing
sorrow holds open a painful wound of disappointed memories, even when
the lovers who caused them are long gone,” said Gunther.
2. Someone who hasn’t had a successful relationship
It’s possible you could learn a thing or
two about what not to do, but that may not get you very far. When
seeking quality love advice, go to someone who has actually had quality
relationships. Personal development expert Michael Hyatt said it’s best
to get advice from those who have the results you seek. “Here’s my rule
of thumb, and it rarely fails me: Never take advice from people who
aren’t getting the results you want to experience. If you don’t like
what you see in the life of the messenger, it’s usually best to ignore
the message,” said Hyatt.
3. Players
If you’re seeking advice from someone
who thinks being in a relationship is a game, and quickly getting
someone into bed means you’ve “won,” you’re looking in the wrong place.
Steer clear of anyone who thinks of relationships simply as a way to
pass the time. Mari Ruti, associate professor of critical theory at the
University of Toronto, said those who are careless when it comes to love
are only doing themselves a disservice. Focusing all of your energy on
winning will lead you nowhere. “The trouble with the games of romance is
that eventually the mask will have to come off. Eventually you’ll have
to reveal who you actually are, and then what? The rules of love may
allow you to hoodwink your partner for a while, but ultimately they’ll
lead you to a dead end,” said Ruti.
Credit: thecheatsheet
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